Thursday, 21 May 2009

I've got a 12 sided die, I've got Dungeon Master's Guide

Last night, the nerd squad hit our highest nerd factor to date... probably!

The absence of Ginge and the Frenchy was beautifully taken care of by the one week only addition of the Loveable Stoner.

The chilli toating Southern Hemispherian ran a one off DC Heroes game where we were basically members of the Justice League but with different names... which was fine until I realised that I was essentilaly playing Huntress and instantly had to hate myself... stupid purple domino mask wearing liability bitch!

Our hearty band of heroes were summoned to an attack on the city of Seattle by what appeared to be T-Rex only to discover that said terrible lizard was in fact a computer generated collection of pixels (we still kicked his ass though, so it was all good)...

Further investigations lead us to discover that the good city of Seattle had been taken over by a disgruntled player of a world renowned MMORPG called Endless Dungeon, which of course we were then sucked into - complete with new period costumes and weaponry - and had to go and find the culprit of these shenanigans and beat his fat, Cheesy Puff eating, 40 year old, living in his mum's basement, never gonna know the touch of a woman, ass into next week.

Of course because we were in his game, his avatar looked oddly different from his real life physique - he was a Grecian god complete with magic shield and personal guard and the dev team who nerfed his class hanging over a pit of lava in his volcanic lair by a chain....

We powerleved, we min maxed, we hot swapped, we strafed, we bunny hopped, we tea bagged, we looted, we ninjaed, we were 1337...we were most definitely not n00bs and we saved the day, the dev team and the city... yey us!

We all had a bloody good laugh and it was widely recognised that Jason is a genius.

It then occurred to us that we were a group of 20-30 something, well educated, intelligent adults, sitting in our basement, rolling dice, pretending to be super heroes trapped in a world based on a computer game that we all played excessively (except Matt "I was just following orders" Smith - who has no soul) and using real life exploits and well known factoids about said game to win the other game....

There is a chance none of us will ever be allowed to breed...

Monday, 18 May 2009

Little Miss Can't Be Wrong

Yesterday I rearranged our bedroom...for the first time in about 6 years... apparently there is more than one place you can put a bed in a mishapen shoe box - who knew?!!?

I might have got a little stroppy about it at one point and suppressed a little cry when it looked like it was going badly and things would not fit where I wanted them to but the curly one (yes, I've reverted) came to the rescue with non commital responses to my irrate ranting and irritatingly wise suggestions... and begrudgingly I had to admit that he was right... and now it looks all pretty and has a strangely serene feeling about it - excellent place for being all hippified and shit!

I've also been working hard on the hellmouth's website - getting my head around Dreamweaver after only 2 hour's training, (most of which was spent trying to remember the username and password so I could use the FTP gizmo to make the website accessible to the public) and a bit of self taught HTML is harder than one might imagine... amazingly though my boss seems to be quite understanding about this (I think I might have blinded him with science) and has accepted that I need time and space to make this shit happen... also it'll be saving him money because he won't have to pay fees to outside agents if it can all be done in house....

Of course what he doesn't realise is that by doing this, I am making myself completely indispensible to the company and gaining a shag load of transferrable skills, which I will use to my advantage when I quit and offer my services back to the company at extortionate consultancy rates!!!! (Or you know, just get a better job)

The poetry thing seems to be going pretty well too, starting to build up a following of poets and writers who are all vastly more accomplished than I, so my ego might be swelling just a little bit...I've started having a note pad and pen with me all the time to jot down any momentary flashes of inspiration and in the last 2 days Bob has referred to me as both pretentious and pompous... I think I might be being a bit of an arsehole about the whole thing.... maybe I should reign in my enthusiasm a little before I get ball achingly dull and prickish about how awesome I am and my husband starts lamenting the days when I just talked shit on a blog and didn't own a theasaurus.

That said, it is affording me an odd kind of peace... it's been too long since I've been so prolifically creative and being able to express any little thought in my head in a public forum without fear of reprisal because my poetry is so vague is really incredibly therapeutic so it is quite difficult to contain my enthusiasm at the moment... I'm sure it will wear off eventually and I can go back to being acerbic and bitter and more tolerable to other people!

Until then... please enjoy this in my place...

Friday, 15 May 2009

You could have ruled the whole world if you'd only found the time

I have been creative I have...

On the off chance that you might be interested in my wanky pretentious side, you will find it here

I feel quite jazzed up about the whole thing actually....

For those of you who will make fun of me for this (oh wait, that's all of you)... just to assure you that I have not been replaced by a pod person...
*ahem*... string of obscenities, ninjas are better than pirates in a land war, string of obscenities, i want a dragon, string of obscenities, cleft in twain with his mighty sword of Dobar, string of obscenities, it's at the window, string of obscenities, my tits are constantly on display to detract from my insecurities, string of obscenities, den mother den mother den mother, string of obscenities...blah blah blah... :)

Thursday, 14 May 2009

Smoking my Motivation

It's been a long time since I've read or written any poetry... but I think I might just have been inspired....

I was bimbling around Deviant Art, like you do and stumbled across this guy...

His art is pretty cool but his poetry is something else.... I think I might have fallen in love with words again - thank you Scarlett Letters.

Monday, 11 May 2009

I'm Still Alive

Just in case you were worried that the mucus goblins had finally finished me off, I thought I should put your minds at rest... I still function!

The poorly dressed mucus goblins have left the vicinity of Upper Bexington, tails between their legs as they were defeated in battle by the wiley cunning of the pixie god and her awesome potions (namely decongestant taken with hot honey and lemon).

Sadly Baron Curly One (trying out an amalgamation) was clearly the next on the evil goblins hit list... damn those goblins are trixie!

Anyhoooo... the reason for this post is this:

Star Trek was awesome...woooooooop!!!!

I could critique it and talk about how it was a bit mindless and the plot was a little weak and strewn with implausible space time continuum pseudo science and really it was only the cast that made the movie worth while... but I'm not going to because it was absolutely kickass fun and I loved it.... the cast were superb...all of them...without exception, brought something wonderful to the whole movie and I came away from the cinema feeling brilliant about everything... all was well with the world - cinema is a wonderful thing.

Also, Dom has booked tickets for the best crazy ginger haired, makeup wearing, Australian, musical comedian in the world ever...FACT... it's not till October but I'm really excited already... yey!!!

Pixie out

Thursday, 7 May 2009

I Just Died in your Arms Tonight

This.... this is what is going to kill me..


My body is wracked with evil green mucus goblins who are at this very moment attempting to eat me from the inside out... not only are they making me feel decidedly icky and once again feeding in to my bizarre loathing of my least favourite of all the bodily excretions to make me find myself truly disgusting... but they have terrible taste in fashion.... I mean honestly...who wears the too short logo T shirt red braces combo anymore anyway... it's not the 80's ... Punk is over... gaaaah!

On top of this, my bosses are off today - woo hoo!

I was going to use today productively to get some actual work done without them constantly buzzing around me making it impossible for me to achieve anything - I was going to attempt to get my head around changing our website and making it all go live and everything and I was going to use today to do it because I thought I could have some uninterrupted time with which to concentrate on something a little more taxing than my usual mind numbing duties... sadly the legion of mucus goblins is making that seem like an impossible task...

So tomorrow I will get in to work and my bosses will ask me why I haven't redesigned the wheel in the 2 hours I had to myself with nothing terribly pressing to do... and I will sigh and tell them that I will get it done when I have some time and they will make snippy comments about using my time more efficiently and I will die a little more inside....and thus the inevitable cycle of my life will continue....

Unless of course the goblins get me first....

(I might secretly be rooting for them...I'll go smoke more, help them along a bit..)

Sunday, 3 May 2009

If I go Crazy will you still call me Superman?

I'm bored with the whole 'alternative title' thing now... it takes up too much thinking time and seems a bit I'm done with it.... instead I may start using tenuously appropriate song lyrics to title my blogs .... I may even start offering reward incentives to people who can name the song... oooh how school teachery of me!!!!

This weekend the (not so) curly one and I went to Devon to visit my lovely second family and celebrate my (not legally binding) adopted daddy's 60th birthday.... big surprise party complete with family over from Italy, amazing spread, decent music and a bar that let me have a tab... idiots!

The upshot of this weekend is two, perhaps even three fold...

Due to being forced to play with small children all weekend, my darling husband has revoked his previous comments about children and has now decided that they seem like a bad idea in general... which I have to agree with... we would create hairy mutant devil babies... so I'll let this one go for a while until my hormones and ticking biological clock take over and I feel the need to re-enact scenes from Rosemary's Baby in full and irrevocably destroy the body I've only just stopped worrying about ... stupid stupid being a girl

Secondly I've also realised that I need a new pseudonym for the (not so) curly one... since that one is getting truly boring... he came up with a few suggestions of his own... including but not limited to:

Baron von Fuck Muscle
Rufus T Thrustenlove
Sir Pumpsalot
Gash Master 5000
Dwayne T Nibblets - King of Fuck

Oooooo kaaaaaay.....

He was also propositioned by a wonderful gay friend of mine, who when drunk is quite deliberately controversial, with the immortal line "Would you be more upset if I snogged your wife or if I snogged you?"... to which he calmly replied... "I really couldn't tell you until you'd tried it".... brilliant!!!...

I also discovered that my crazy hippie powers now extend to calming small babies and easing period pains with my awesome healing hands..... now if only I could use the power of reiki and energy transference to move objects with my mind, my plans for world domination would be almost complete... muhahahahaha!!!

I might also have watched and possibly enjoyed Twilight....