Thursday 30 July 2009

Tell me Lies, tell me sweet little lies


Words to live by ... oh yeah

Thursday 23 July 2009

When We Dance It's A Tragic Delight

My back is starting to get a little better... for those of you who don't know what happened but have had the pleasure of being exposed to the slope of danger and treachery outside my house, I shall explain....

Bob got drunk and in process of worrying about him falling down the slope and breaking his face again (and more importantly his glasses, which I can't afford to replace) irony struck a cruel blow and landed me on my coccyx.... ?!"?$?"££$^%$^&£$I*!"$£*$&£*(*%$*_"£!*$$^.... that is the string of profanity that escaped very loudly from my mouth along with some whimpering and the sound of trying very hard not to cry...

I forced myself in to work the next day... even though getting dressed in the morning actually made me cry it hurt so much and spent the whole day drugged up on mighty morphing pain killers fluctuating between trying not to cry in pain and being so spaced out that I was unable to function like a conscious human being.... my boss didn't notice any of this and continued to insist that I run about the place and pick things up off the floor.... even my wincing and gasps of pain were not enough for him to think that perhaps, just perhaps there might have been something wrong with one of his staff....

I put myself through this ordeal because the snide comments I would have received from him and knowing he would have taken it out on Cathryn if I took time off, was worse than the pain itself....

This just added the icing to the enormous steaming shit cake that is my life...

Consequently I have realised that there is a fair chance that I am really quite depressed...and I can't afford a counsellor... oh dear...

On the plus side, Cathryn and I have come up with a fun game to play at work... which may only be possible if you listen to music at work via the internet... basically, it's like musical word association... in the morning somebody chooses a song and then the other person must pick one that follows on from it in some way... for example: Spin Doctors, Two Princes could be followed by Prince Charming by Adam Ant, which could be followed by Charming Man by The Smiths.... etc etc... it whiles away literally hours ...and helps to prevent either of us from throwing ourselves off the suspension bridge... so far anyway...

I will not go silently into the night... oh no... I will damn well whine about it all the way there... and you will bloody well listen to my self indulgent, increasingly emo ranting....

Hell I may even take up cranking... I hear it's what all the best emo kids are doing these days...

No picture for you today... The Pixie is waaaaaaaay too miserable for that... *grumble grumble moan moan blah blah blah grumble*

Tuesday 7 July 2009

Woman oh woman don't treat me so mean...

I need help...

I need natural and non - 'go to the doctor's' advice... how the fuck do women deal with periods?

I have been on the pill for 14 years solidly, with no break so hadn't had a real period since the tender age of 14...and 12 months ago I decided to come off and see what was occurring in the wonderful world of my hormones...

I lost a stone in 6 months... (which I may now be putting back on due to excessive consumption of cream cakes)... and my periods are finally getting in to some kind of a cycle... but fuck me they hurt!!! How do you ladies manage it?... not only does it feel like my barren uterus is about to explode but I am overly emotional, weepy and angry... what do I do?!?!?!

I can't cope with this every month for the rest of my life (or at least until I'm stupid enough to think that any child Bob and I made would be wonderful and cute and not at all a hideous mutant freak baby)...

Please ladies...and men who know ladies... help me out here... I'm new at this game and I don't know the rules... and the referee seems like a total shit heel...gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!