Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Psycho-babbler Extrodinaire

Alternative Title: Amusing thought for the day

On the strength of the lovely Mr Ben's post about the Psychological cues behind eating jelly babies I thought that in my boundless wisdom I would share with you a very amusing and potentially life altering bit of psychobabble.

There is a fairly strong theory backed up by proper research no less, that states that the way people eat is in direct correlation with their sexual habits.... (I can't remember who this reasearch is by and frankly can't be bothered to trawl through my limitless number of Psych journals to find out - so if it's you then consider yourself duly mentioned and sorry I can't remember your name)

Essentially the idea behind this is that because both sex and food are fundamental instinctual necessities within life, the way we approach them is similar. On a social psych level, this is also extremely interesting.

People who, when really enjoying their food, are quite vocal about it, with lots of "mmmm's" and "ahhhhh's'" are almost certainly rather noisy in the bedroom as well.

People who shovel their food in are likely to be a bit quick off the mark, so to speak...

People who spend a long time smelling their food, taking time over every mouthful and savouring every flavour are likely to be big on the foreplay...

People who pick at their food and don't seem to enjoy it much are probably a little bit on the unadventerous, conservative side ...

There is no point to these claims of mine other than to make meal times in mixed company more interesting for you all!.... enjoy!!!

Oh and remember, on the basis of this research, chubby people = good lovers!

Monday, 10 November 2008


On a side note:

I know I've blogged already today but I needed to rant about this....

How can organisations that specifically say and have a long rambling policy about how they don't discriminate against people with disabilities, at the very bottom of their job descriptions state that the applicant must be a driver with their own car?!?!?!

Hmmm?... answer me that... how is that not discriminating against me and my brain buggering?!?!

I have epilepsy... I nicely tick their token cripple box and get their ratings up for their anti discriminatory policy and do not require them to drastically alter their working arrangements or state of their premises... I just can't drive a damn car.

Apparently my ability to work with terminally ill children or mentally unstable children is decided entirely upon whether or not I can drive a fucking car...

So to summarise....


Sunday, 9 November 2008

Ich Bin Ein Auslander

Alternative Title: I am so far removed from the social loop you are all just pixels on the virtual horizon

It was terribly liberal Matt's birthday this weekend and a suprise birthday bash had been expertly arranged by the lovely, if a little French Dom and the lovely, if a little Welsh was to be a thing of wonder and a joy to behold.... The Curly one and I couldn't go... rubbish!

Apparently, it is expected in today's modern society for people to exchange this thing called 'money' for goods and services... unaware of this recent turn of events the man mountain and I have not been able to procure the correct amount of this 'money' stuff in order to make doing anything other than living in our house a possibility.... so we stayed in.

We also 4 1/2 manned Onyxia...which made staying in a little more pallitable... but not much (I was the 1/2 man btw... in case you were wondering... I'm not the correct level to be described as a whole man yet... plus I am short and have breasts...also not an asset deemed worthy of full man status)

We also watched a ridiculous animated movie based on the EA game 'Dead Space,' which was very good... and made staying in slightly more pallitable.... but not much....

In case you are unfamiliar with the concept, aliens inhabit the bodies of the dead, warp and mishape them in to hideous undead mutants for our viewing pleasure...these walking mantis men then go about killing regular living people in order to turn them in to more mutant mantis things in an increasingly gory and blood filled manner.... its very Event Horizon meets Aliens meets Resident Evil... but pretty good nonetheless... switch off your brain and enjoy the beautifully styled animation, the continual gurgling screaming and gratuitous blood splatter... admittedly I would still have rather been out getting pissed and eating tapas but this wasn't a bad substitute....

I miss my friends... I wonder what they look like... in my head they are pixelated and are warping into matis men... or possibly fish men... or possibly space lepers ... I really can't be sure which of my virtual past times will replace my friends completely... also I'm calling off Christmas!

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

God Bless America

Alternative Title: Politics I actually got Excited about!

Well then boys and girls, it would seem that, contrary to popular belief, Americans are wise and progressive... yey them

I really hope that the Obamarama can continue well into the next 4-8 years and that he is not assassinated / does something stupid / is not nearly as Godlike as we all want him to be.

I was really excited by this election. I understand that the election of the US President has global significance and I was really really worried that McCain would get in.... not because I had any particular beef with McCain as such... I'm sure he is a very nice chap... no my friends, I was concerned because if McCain was elected, there was a strong chance that he would die in office and that would mean that the Creationist, Moose hunting, pitbull with lipstick, hockey Mom, nut job Sarah 'I'm crazy like a wizard's pocket' Palin, would become President..... I think the Sweet Baby Jesus can rest easy now ... some one sensible was elected... so woopdie doo and yey!

See me now wooping and hooting down the street with gay abandon!!!

If only we could have some exciting politics in this country I might not feel the need to spoil my ballot.

Don't get me wrong... I fully intend to vote... people fought and died for my right to do so... and I shall take that right and treasure it for all it is worth... unfortunately British politicians have a less Deity like quality to them... we all know they are caught up in sleeze and controversy and their policies are either weak or disagreeable... I feel very disillusioned by the British Government and their opposition... they do not excite me... and they should... they should be fighting for my vote... fighting for your vote... fighting for the votes of our future children... but it just seems that they are embroiled in internal conflict and 'yes' men behaviour... the whole thing is very uninspiring.

So, by spoiling my ballot I am registering as a dissident. I am claiming my right to vote but by not voting for any candidate I am making it clear that I do not think any of them worthy to govern the country... couldn't we have a Priminister Obama instead?

Image from one of my favourite web comics: Just making sure I'm not infringing copyright or anything!

So, Cathryn and I, in our infinite wisdom, are celebrating this auspiscious day by eating cookies and blueberry muffins and listening only to music with an American theme - so songs with titles with the names of American cities or States in them - we have got a little bit stuck after nearly 8 hours... so are now moving on to songs by bands with American themed names... watch out Utah Saints, we're coming for you!!!!