Wednesday 1 April 2009

I've found my Vocation

Alternative Title: I always knew I was a Scrubber

So against Sam's better advice, I scrubbed the gent's toilets yesterday... on my hands and knees, elbow deep in piss and filth... it was strangely satisfying... when I had finished and the place smelled clean and even the skirting boards and the mirrors were sparkling with joy at the love and attention they had received....

My victory was a little marred however when rather than getting annoyed that I was not at my desk, as hoped, my boss actually congratualted me on a job well done and suggested that we should get the old cleaner back in to show her how it's done.... bollocks... no justifiable and righteous vitriol for Bex... bugger

It was made all the more rubbish when 15 minutes later, after a few of the lads had been in there, I went back in to the toilets to finish off and it smelled of piss again...

I mean seriously... do boys just eminate an odour of urine?

Do you deliberately piss on the floor... is it like a competition?

I cleaned the damn urinals - use them!

Please boys, tell me... I need to know so I can combat this evil in the future!

In the evening I took photos of the (not so) curly one and his best friend, (who we shall call Mr Blonde tight trousers for now) - pictures of Bob attacking Mr Blonde tight trousers with a knife... Bob is doing a logo for a martial arts organisation (paid work... woo hoo!) and needed a dynamic pose to work from....

For inspiration I shouted things like, "Come on, attack him like you hate him... he's just fucked your mum and he's wearing stupid shoes"... I thought it was genius ... the boys seemed to disagree... ah well ... perhaps professional photography is one thing to cross off my list of vocation options...

4 comments:

Ben said...

Proffessional Photography may be off the list, but Shouting At People sounds like like it may be a goer. You could be like that badass drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket...

The Jolly Blogger said...

I did cleaning work after school when I was in the sixth form and there is nothing more disgusting as cleaning the toilets and yet so satisifying as well. Listen to me on this sort of thing I've been shafted by bad bosses in the past and have exacted petty revenge on the bastards. It's made me a lazy and work shy however I am improving now that I'm doing a job I love for people who actually appreciate me. Remember your time is precious the boss's ain't so waste his time not yours, develop a bad attitude and make the git's life hell.

Marianne said...

Girl...you and I both know the horrors that a shared female toilet can also create.

We're all dirty bitches too.

And when it comes to photography...stick to the modelling. Speaking of which, I'll probably call on you in May(ish) for another shoot.

Charlie said...

Lol your mum