The Metric Fuck Ton and other Tales of Daring Do

Alternative Title: I think I may have hurt my tummy

Firstly - thank you Marianne for introducing me to the phrase 'The metric Fuck Ton'.... we believe this to be slightly smaller than the Imperial Fuck Tonne - but an aweful lot nonetheless... especially when used to describe the amount of alcohol consumed by my teeny tiny pixie like body at the weekend...

Friday night saw me spending the night clubbing in Swindon (horrid place) however, since two of my closest friends got engaged to each other that night in a terrifyingly brilliant plan of subtlety and subterfuge not seen since my previous life as a baddass ninja assassin and it was her birthday... good times were had...

The group (about 20 of us) all had VIP entry to the club which meant that we didn't have to pay to get in, we had our own private area to keep out the riff raff, free champagne on arrival and all the drinks were buy one get one free... which I didn't realise until I ordered 3 shots of Sambuca and 3 bottles of generic European beer...and got 6 of each.... oh dear.... then it started getting messy... some how the strawpeedo of a trough of booze seemed like a good idea at the time...

I spent most of the night with an old uni friend who I hadn't seen for a very very long time and was very pleased to realise that he is one of those friends who you can spend 5 minutes with after about 8 years apart and feel like you've never been apart... superb.

I then spent the night sandwiched between him and another strapping man on a double air bed in my friend's lounge... both of them doing the 'drunken boy snore'... suffice to say I got about 2 hours sleep in total... oh dear

Saturday, extremely hungover I make my way to Dom's party of awesomeness and decide that the best way to combat my monstrous hangover is to drink a further metric fuck ton of vodka and Marianne's particularly lovely home-brewed cider... beautiful appley ambrosia of the Gods and spend the entire night snuggled in her ample bosom... so soft and warm...yummy.

This may not have been wise as I spent most of the next day being really really grumpy and hungover and taking it out on the (not so) curly one and the ginger northerner...sorry about that boys.... Bob's delightful roast wasn't even enough to lighten my mood....still excellent parties on both nights... alcohol was consumed, love was made, cigarettes were smoked and friendships were resumed.... superb!

I think however, there is a small chance that I may be getting too old for the whole weekend bender as I then had to take Monday off work to recover...oops!