5 Weddings and a Funeral

Alternative Title: I am a Secondary Character in Other People's Teen Dramas

Hmmm... job hunting... well now... that seems to have taken a bit of a back seat over the last couple of weeks... that Warlock won't level itself and the expansion is coming out soon meaning I will have Death Knight buddies to play with...so my priorities are a little altered...also it seems to be stemming the flow of work related dementia...and in the current economic climate it seems that employment is becoming harder to find for those that really need it... so perhaps I should just shut the fuck up whinging and be grateful for what I've got... there are people in much worse situations than me.

If I'm really honest, while I do hate my job and it does make me quite horrifically depressed, I think that my sudden need to re-train/find alternative employment / commit Seppuku has stemmed (this time around at least) from the fact that for the last few months I have been a secondary character in other people's teen dramas - the comedy sidekick at best, girl number 4 at worst. Clearly I needed drama in my own life.

Don't get me wrong I am still actively seeking a way out of this hell hole in to something more suited to my talents... I'm just being slightly less disheartened when it is not forthecoming...

Of course if any of the 3 people that actually read this blog know of any jobs going then please feel free to pass it on... however since at least 2 of those people are highly qualified engineering types then I feel my transferrable skills may leave a bit of a short fall...especially since my awesome plan to save the world using an eleborate combination of helicopters and giant sponges was thoroughly trashed last night with the subtle use of science (damn you and your unGodly ways, Matt)... I feel a job in the field of engineering may not bear fruit!

Anyway... the title of this episode "5 Weddings and a Funeral" comes from my expereinces this year where I have... believe it or not... been to 5 weddings and a funeral... stick that up your foppish chuffer Hugh Grant!

The first was a handfasting ceremony, that I conducted, for 2 friends of mine... it was a small, intimate affair and really rather lovely... there was then a civil ceremony and lots of food and drinking... also lovely.

The second was my wedding... also a handfasting ceremony out in the woods... which was amazing, and while I didn't conduct the service itself, I was somewhat involved in the whole planning and instigating of said event...there was then lots of food and drinking... also lovely.

The third was my Auntie's wedding... which was heavy on the food and booze, however did involve spending time with some of the more unsavoury of my family members and all the emotional trauma that ensued... however the abundance of food and inordinant amount of alcohol did go someway to ease the pain!

The fourth was another ceremony run by me, not a handfasting this time but a much more secular, garden party sort of an affair... with food and drinking... also lovely.

The fifth and final one was last weekend. I was not involved in the planning, running, emotional turmoil or general organisation of any of it... my job was simply to eat food and get drunk and have my breasts toasted by the groom in his speech...all of which I carried off with my usual level of decorum and grace... it was brilliant!

This wedding was made all the better by a very good friend of mine getting thoroughly shit faced and spending a good half an hour preaching to a mutual friend of mine and the curly one about how I was - and I quote "a whole big world of sexy," which of course he got thoroughly embarrassed about and was only made worse when she went on to quiz him about whether, were I single, he might be interested in a torrid affair with me... he replied in a very sensible and sober manner that, my husband is a good friend of his, I am a good friend of his and he did not feel comfortable answering her probing questions... he then made his escape by promising to buy her more alcohol... which she duly drank and then proceeded to procure more booze from various other unsuspecting members of the party. I believe she was trying, in her misguided and alcohol fueled way to raise my self esteem by proving to me that other men still find me attractive, despite my marital condition; what she succeeded in doing was embarrassing some people and giving me a life time supply of ammunition with which to return the embarrassment, should I so choose! I love this girl...she makes me so proud... she is a brilliant mother, a very talented and witty young lady, works her fingers to the bone to provide for her family, is one of the best friends a girl could ask for and still finds the time to get so thoroughly bolloxed at these events that she falls over on the dance floor and leaves her shoes behind when she gets forced into a taxi home... she is who I want to be when I grow up!

Amidst these marital shenanigans I have also conducted a naming ceremony for a friend's daughter, set up my website advertising my services as a tarot reader and been a party to the hectic and at times horrific lives of my friends and family.

These people are giving birth, dying, having relatives pass away, getting divorced, filing for bankruptcy, leaving the country to escape their lives, splitting up with long term partners, falling out with other friends, being made homeless, being made redundant, coping with mental illness... and all are coming to me for support.

Now please don't misunderstand... if you are one of these people and you happen to have stumbled across this blog, I love that you come to me with your problems, as your friend or family member, it is an honour and a pleasure to be thought of so highly that you entrust me with your life crises (however since I am now blogging about them perhaps you should reconsider the trust you put in me!) The problem I think I am having is that for the first time in my life ever, I do not have a major life crisis occurring... I am pretty sorted really... ok I hate my job and money is rubbishy... but I am emotionally stable, I have a roof over my head, a secure job, a husband who feels about me the way I feel about him and as long as I don't think about the future or my dwindling prospects too much, things really aren't that bad.

This is an unusual state of affairs. Granted, I have always been the one people come to with their problems... I seem to attract the emotionally unstable, and if my friends are not telling me about their latest problem at great length and in greater detail, I ask about it... because I care... because I firmly believe that sharing a problem makes it easier to cope with... because I love my friends and I want to see them happy... and because I am a nosey cow who likes to know other people's business! The last few months have been unusual because almost everyone I know is going through some kind of emotional crisis but I am not... I am used to avoiding my problems by involving myself in the problems of others... only this time there have been lots of problems and none of them are mine...

The earth is in a state of flux, energies that used to come in slowly are now bombarding us at great speed and we are all struggling to cope with this shift (yes I know it sounds like hippie bollocks but it's true... FACT) So tragedy is occurring in the lives of those I love but not in mine... for a change.... The worrying thing of course is that when the earth settles again in a couple of years and everything goes back to normal, my friends and family will not have to suffer any more... and I will have to go back to being the emotional train wreck you all know and love... fucking brilliant.... I will look forward to that then!