Demurely Covered and the Very Essence of Underexposure

Alternative Title: Well Shit, Cock and Piss Flaps

So the interview went really really well.

I managed to find an alternative white shirt, black trouser, severe shoe combo that had me looking professional not porn starry...yey me!

However the shoes have caused my feet to mutate into some kind of blistered bloody stumps and have possibly also damaged my spine beyond repair - either that or my rampant cystitis has moved to my kidneys and my internal organs are currently undergoing massive shut down and I'll be dead by the end of the weekend... woo fucking hoo - either way I'm in some serious fucking pain here people!

My foolish foot attire choices aside, the interview was really good. The people were lovely, the environment was light and airy - at no point did I experience the air of impending death and decay as is present at so many of these nursing homes, the job itself seemed really interesting and I interviewed really well. They seemed to like me, I even had them laughing, which is always a good sign.

Unfortunately, even if they offer me the job, I am going to have to turn it down - but why Bex, I hear you cry, it sounds amazing and will get you out of the fly infested hell hole which currently holds sway over your bank account - well my lovelies...it comes down to one simple but increasingly buggering problem - the money.

They can't offer me enough to be able to meet my rent and bills, never mind any frivolities like food!.... I'm not even in a position to negotiate for more moolah... the caring professions have a notoriously low budget to play with and I would have to ask for a further 6k a year.... which is an astronomical amount for those poor bastards...so once again I am forced back to the seventh level of hell ....

Of course this has lead to another fight with the (not so) curly one about the state of our marriage and the monetary problems that we face as a couple....

Fuck the Pope

Sometimes I hate my life.

(and apparently I'm becoming more emo by the second - sorry about that)

Tits Bursting Out All Over the Place!!!

Alternative Title: Not Really... but now I have your attention...

I have a job interview tomorrow... yey me!

It's still admin work (boo) but it is in a nursing home specialising in palliative care - my field of interest (so yey)...

I am apprehensive about this interview... although perhaps not for the usual reasons...

I only sent my CV off yesterday and they called me today to ask me for an interview tomorrow.... now this either means that they are really on the ball, in which case I will probably be a terrible disappointment to them after years of working in a mind numbingly and brain cell destroyingly easy job, once they realise that I am not as nearly on the ball as their head office people seem to be...

Or

They are so desperate for staff that they jumped on the first sad sack who sent in a CV with their name spelled correctly... again not a good sign...

It's a bit like going out on a date and it going fairly well but then they call you 3 times within an hour of parting company just to 'say hi' ... it's a little bit concerningly keen... (unless of course it went 'really' well... then obsessive calling is just fine)

Of course it could just be that they were blown away by the sheer awesomeness and stealth ninja baddassery (thank you Mr Smith - consider yourself acknowledged) of my CV and have turned away every other candidate just for a chance to gaze upon the wonder that is yours truly... but it seems unlikely...

I am also mildly concerned about what to wear... terribly girly of me I know... but it seems that having lost a few pounds over the last few months pretty much everywhere but from my chest (hear the venemous cries of the ladies) has furnished me with a bit more of a porn star figure than is perhaps appropriate for a home for the dying and my white shirt, black trouser, severe heeled shoe usual interview garb may have me looking more like the 'special' entertainment for Mr Jone's one last kick of excitement before he shuffles off than a serious candidate for a front of house post... what do you think...too much boob?

I'll let you know how it goes... I predict... badly....

NB: Please be aware that these are not in fact my breasts... though sweet baby Jesus, I wish they were...so perky and tanned... although I think she made need to get some Vanish on her shirt... looks like she washed it with a red sock!

It's Been A While....

Alternative Title: I missed you guys

A lot has been occurring of late, most of which I did not feel comfortable blogging about until now...so here goes...

There was much snow and no server for many days so Cathryn and I, once we'd got rid of the management managed to create this terribly productive and artsy portrayl of The Venus De Milo combined with Veronica Lake before we got bored and cold and went home... good day spent at work...woop!...Also totally out classed the regular shaped snowman down the road made by another garage... yeah, we's a classy kinda bird at the MMC!.... in your face Mr Stephens (A level art teacher who made my life miserable for 2 years) my D grade in Art totally paid off!
The following day the curly one and I went to a party where he got drunk and twattish and I walked out... I didn't go home again for over a week.

Suffice to say he and I have been having some problems of late and while he has been vastly more twattish in the past while fueled with booze, this was the last straw... I stayed with Cathryn, who doubtless got terribly bored of me moping about the place by the end of it but will always be too polite to say anything other than 'it was a pleasure to have you there.'

I spent Valentines day without my husband getting terribly drunk and progressively miserable in a pub with some friends and then Sunday went to a vintage fashion fayre in Bristol (shopping totally out of character) but actually had a lovely day with my girly friends and spent the evening hanging out with my much missed boys who managed to fuel me with enough geekery to stock up my dwindling supplies... I also joined in with the famed pub quiz, where my knowledge of the faces of aging celebrities proved useful (though how useful I am not sure as I still don't know how we did as I had to leave before the results)... there were also some excellent collaborative drawings put forward by Matt "no they're not jack boots" Smith and the lovely Mr Ben of mechanically engineered dinosaurs and pigs riding flaming horses... some beer may have been consumed.

It was actually waiting on the train station platform that I realised that I wanted to go home....so the following day, I did...

Bob has been replaced by a pod person, he is positive and pro-active and clean living...not the man I married!... I can't fault him... I on the other hand am still a bit of a mess... I'm hoping I can sort my shit out so that I can really give him the chance he deserves, give us that chance... man, marriage is hard!

Along with all of this personal emotional trauma, some friends of ours lost thier 10 month old son to a rare genetic disorder, which was enormously tragic and another friend lost his father under equally tragic circumstances - the world is a cruel place sometimes...

The cosmic chaos is just being mean now... it's not fun or freeing anymore...it's just painful, raw and tiring...

I need a holiday

Supreme Genius

Alternative Title: If Carlsberg made Complaint letters...

This made me laugh so hard I nearly blew Ribena out of my nose ... the disparaging looks from the management that followed only served to make it funnier!

I'm sure most of you have already seen this because you read these high brow papers or because you are more 'down wit da kidz' than I... but none the less... I had to share this with you.

Enjoy

Pixie Out
xxx

WOW and other useful acronyms

Alternative Title: The Culmination of the Spread of Evil Pink Filth

So the Warlock has finished her Global Tour spreading her evil pink filth as she goes, has run her Magnificent (and yes it is truly magnificent) flying carpet ragged ( oh the punnery!) and has earned herself the title 'The Explorer'... this made me happy but also means that I have had to turn my attentions once again to actual factual questing and game playing... which by the way, is apparently awesome!... I was a little sceptical having devoted so much time (read: about 2 hours) to exploring the entire globe that I would be able to get the same sense of achievement from regular game play... oh how very wrong I was...

In the space of a couple of hours I had an emotional rollercoaster ride comparable to nothing I have experienced in this game before - due to the wonderful quest layering system adopted in the latest expansion I was able to sit on a tower mounted cannon and shoot big skeletal dragons with bigger bombs at the start of a quest chain that culminated in me helping to create a whole new town on my map complete with mail box, friendly dragon flight path and sleeping bloke in an inn ... the town wasn't there before I did this quest chain... and now it is... genius!!!! This made me very happy... I felt like one of those people who goes to Africa and helps build towns and comes away with an amazing sense of achievement... only without the actually having helped anyone real part...

I then went on a round the world trip trying to save the life of a guy who was dying of Scourge plague and would, upon death, become a horrible mindless drooling drone (a bit like my boss...oh the punnery is relentless... I'm here all week, try the veal) only to discover that when I finally managed to get to the bit where I found someone who could actually save him (the weird alien angel thing) he still died... but his mortal soul was saved from becoming my boss.... this may be the most tragic and heart breaking quest chain I've ever done... I was exhausted by the end of my couple of hour session...

Of course the long emotional talk I had with my better half may also have had something to do with my exhaustion levels...but I'm still blaming it on the gaming.

Best bit of gaming I have done in some time... thank you Blizzard and your genius Devs.

NB: I lied about the other useful acronyms... there aren't any... feel free to make up your own though... I'd hate to stand in the way of creativity!

Shenanigans...oh yes, you heard me right!

Alternative title: Go Pixie it's your birthday...

So long weekend down in the depths of Devon with my bestest friend in the whole wide world was lovely... poker was played, brilliant new people were met, wine was consumed, plentiful nicotine was inhaled...2 year old god son was entertained whilst hungover (note to self: don't do that again)

Work was shit... but then I have come to expect that...my particular favourite work related episode this week was the arrival of a 'motivational' poster brought in by my middle management, pop psychology, never read an actual psych book in his life, dumbass boss... I can't find a picture of it on the intermanetz but I shall describe it for your delight and delectation... it is a picture of a ripple in some water with the 'motivational' text "Irresponsibility: No single rain drop believes it is to blame for the flood.".... see, told you he was a dumbass... he can't quite seem to grasp how this passive aggressive gesture is not likely to rouse the troops rather it simply serves to make us all a bit narky ... dumbass!

Then this weekend twas ma birfday...I did indeed get older but as anticipated getting older was jollied up by the attendance of some damn fine people, plenty of music and movie critiquing and some bloody good role playing.

Pub was visited, white russians were consumed by the trough, plentiful nicotine was inhaled and good times were had by all... and then Bob got drunk... and I had to deal with him...and then had to deal with him again in the morning (my actual birthday no less) by doing all the washing up from the night before so I could cook him greasy bacon and egg hangover sandwiches having had precisely no sleep, a text message from my evil Grandmother who I haven't given my phone number to in over 10 years (how she got it is a mystery) a long and sobbing phone call from my Dad, wishing me happy birthday and telling me that his girlfriend (the only thing stopping him from topping himself whilst going through his second messy divorce) has left him and then another text message from my gay ex boyfriend...all the while our favourite Ginger, Fuzz was witnessing this terrifying glimpse into my emotionally fraught life from the comfort of my living room floor as I collapse in a mess having spoken to all the people in my life who have the ability to cause me any amount of emotional trauma in the space of about an hour on my fucking birthday.... gaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

However... we then ended up in Brizzle playing a most excellent roleplay game designed by my very favourite Egyptian Muslim, Bas - who had taken the concept of an anal retentive attention to detail to new heights by drawing character pictures for us all and laminating hundreds of cards, each one different from the last (all designed by him) to replace any need for the rolling of dice... this was a combat intensive game and frankly we were all fucking brilliant!...we were heroes...apart from when one of us destroyed Paris, went evil and tried to kill another player character (note he destroyed Paris BEFORE he technically 'went evil') ...we fought dinosaur men.... I flew a fire breathing dragon... Steve Rogers was the president of the USA, Dracula was the premier of Russia and Joan of Arc was the premier of France.... absolute fucking genius! I loved every minute of it.... also the character pictures were beautiful - Bas, my love, if you ever find your way to reading this page, thank you so very much for such an awesome birthday present!

We then went to a party in the evening but I don't really remember much of it... I think I may have fallen asleep in the car on the way there and not really woken up again yet... very very tired.....

zzzzzzzzz

Sending Out The Pixie Love

Alternative Title: A present for my friends

Yeah, yeah, so blog updates have not been that frequent and the warlock has ceased the levelling frenzy and slowed down to a respectable level 77 when she got her hands on a most excellent flying carpet which has been used to date to mark her global territory as she flies around spraying her cute but evil pink filth everywhere in an attempt to get the title 'Explorer' after her name... but there is a good reason for this...

I've been getting my tv on...

I have been watching the first season of True Blood which may be the best thing I have seen for some time... it's a bit like Buffy if it was made for grown ups and set in a back water hick riddled town in Louisiana with lots of swearing and nasty fucking! (and the occasional Creole accent)... so all the things I love then.. (including allowing me to reminisce about how much I love Gambit from the X men) let's be honest!

It also has the best opening credits of any show I have ever seen ever and possibly a theme tune to rival the much lamented Firefly (damn you Fox network)...don't get me wrong, it is not the sort of music that I normally enjoy, but they do have both types of music...that's right, both Country AND Western!

I have also been watching No Heroics ... a Bristish Sitcom (thanks for the find Fuzz) about rubbish Super heroes and how rubbish they are... it's very funny.

Amongst all this tv watching I have also found time to celebrate the Curly One's birthday in true drunken vomit filled fashion... thanks boys... good times had by all I think!

This weekend I am heading down to deepest darkest Devon to spend some much overdue time with my very bestest friend in the whole wide world and her family... lovely break in the middle of nowhere ahead me thinks... yey!

Following weekend is ma Birfday... where I will creep ever closer to 30, becoming slowly less attractive to the opposite sex, not realising any of my dreams and looking forward to a life of pushing out mistreated sprogs and forcing myself to become domesticated (hell I'm barely even house trained at the moment)... so that's nice!

My getting older will however be some what jollied up by the anticipated arrival of the Folkestone based possie who will help me drown my sorrows in a heady mix of alcohol and gaming... which I am really looking forward to!

Actually...come to think of it... couple of weeks of nice stuff occurring...may be I should just stop being so fucking miserable...or at the very least add another shot to my nightly vodka habit!

So - go check out these awesome tv shows, they are my gifts to you my lovelies...if you don't enjoy them, well that's just fine... you are entitled to your opinion and I will fight to the death for your right to hold it... even if you are wrong!

Pixie Out