Stupid Dumb Shit Goddamn Mother Fucker

So I quit my job...

I am now officially homeless, unemployed and separated from my husband...

I can't apply to be dole scum until the skittering devil children at the MMC send me my P45... which doubtless they will drag their heels about.

They stiffed me on the money front but because I don't have a contract and the same law that meant I could just tell them I wasn't coming back without giving any notice also means that they don't have to pay me .... fuckers.

This means that the flat that I was going for and pulling strings to get is no longer in the running because I don't have the money I thought I would from the seventh level of hell to make up the first month's rent and the deposit... cock.

This also means that I have about £100 to last me until I can either get a pay cheque from a new employer or a dole cheque... this £100 will be coming out of my bank on the 15th as a loan payment and I still need to find the money to pay my credit card, get to and from Bath next week and ...well... live...

Up shit creek sans paddle, me thinks...

The people I am staying with are thoroughly lovely but I am starting to feel like I am taking the piss... I hate taking from other people... especially since my black eyeshadow exploded all over their beige carpet and has left horrible stains, which even the power of voodoo has yet to eradicate...

I also managed to get so drunk I threw up all over my best friends carpet and stained that...

Essentially the last couple of days have been spent getting upset with letting agents, crying at my bank balance and scrubbing the carpets of people who are really helping me out...

Also.. .their dog ate my trainers.

And apparently I have become one whiney mother fucker :)

This made me chuckle though...




Pixie McWhinesalot out

xxx

Accentuate the positive

Positive things I have done this week:

* Had my hair cut and dyed... it's shorter than it was and has a slightly bull dykie feel to it (though people are using the phrase pixie like)... but it does have some rather fetching bright red streaks in the fringe... I like it but it will take a little getting used to

* I have re-written some government documentation on child protection and will be helping to deliver a training course to various health and social care professionals on this subject on Thursday

* I have written a lot of self therapeutic indulgent poetry (which people seem to like)

* I watched Titus last night, the adaptation of Shakespeare's early, lesser known and vastly more gruesome plays, Titus Andronicus... it was very good... if a little tragic... but then it would be, it's a tragedy!

* I have been chatting to friends and family and keeping in touch

* I have taken the dog for a walk across fields with the most stunning views and thought to myself "why would anyone want to be anywhere else"

Less positive things I have done this week:

* I have moped... a lot

* I have drunk a lot of wine and smoked a lot of cigarettes

* I have been unable to make any decisions regarding work or study

But still all early days yet... can't expect a miracle over night, I guess... but fuck me this shit is hard!

Pixie out

Did you say 'no this can't happen to me?'

Well by now you all know what's going on... and you've actually pretty much all been in touch with your well wishes and sympathies... which I am extremely grateful for - thank you.

Basically this is just to say that I probably won't be doing a great deal of bloggerising for a while... I will still be writing but it will be wanky, self indulgent and weepy poetry - yey me and the free therapy.

Focusing on my writing and looking at going back to school to study.. .well something... not sure yet whether to go back to do more psychology or whether to bite the bullett and actually study big gay writing!!! (I might even go study computer programming)... still something will be filling my brain in the not too distant future other than Morris Minor paint codes and how much I hope my boss falls in a pit filled with flaming spikes and angry monkeys...

I think there is a strong possibility that I will be quitting my job... I've taken a couple of weeks off for a bit of R&R anyway... but at the end of that, I realy don't see going back to be a particularly healthy thing for me to do...

That said... I need to get some thinking done... so I'm hoping this next couple of weeks will give me the time and space I need to do that and get my head straight so I can formulate some kind of long term plan.

I haven't fallen of the edge of the world... I'm still contactable ...so please don't feel you can't contact me.

Love to you all and weepy sad face

Bex
xxx