Being Good Isn't Always Easy

So I didn't get the big gay job that I didn't really want anyway... yet some how I find myself enormously gutted.

While the concept of a blazer, skirt and name tag uniform smooshing down any semblance of personality or sense of style I might have cultivated over the years did upset me greatly, I really need a job!

I did manage to secure my place on the distance learning course I wanted, so in 2 - 3 years I will be a web designer and programmer and with any luck after a few months I will be front line tech support...woop hoot and yey...however, I need a job to finance this course... and my debts... and the rent that the Family need me to pay, which until yesterday had not really been mentioned, seems they, like I, was waiting to see whether I got this job before mentioning the fact that they can't afford to support me... of course they can't... but the feelings of guilt I have been experiencing about sponging off them just got made a whole lot worse yesterday with the mention of that horribly vulgar thing we all crave; money.

I hate money... it is the source of nothing but trouble... stupid, ugly, vulgar... grrrrrrrrrr!

So I have no idea how I'm going to finance anything... going on the game is looking increasingly likely... although I feel I may be too old and saggy to generate much business...damn it!

Still I have my lovelies coming to see me tomorrow and I am soooooooooo looking forward to it ... sleeping arrangements may be a little cosy but luckily we all like each other :)

I think I shall enjoy myself this weekend and then get back to reality on Monday...stupid reality.