You can tell by the lines in my smile that I have been around for a while

I can haz ego stroke plix, yes kk?!?!?

I have my gorgeous baby cousin coming to stay tonight....

I love her to bits, she is fun, she is clever, she is very sweet and she looks up to me (she is also therefore obviously, horribly flawed)

I have watched her grow up over the last few years, mature from a child in to an interesting young woman and throughout this period, my influence has been a discerning factor in her life. When I first noticed she had a liking for the slightly alternative music scene, I made her a CD of some of my favourite tracks when I was growing up, hoping to nurture and encourage this love, which it did.

When she got in trouble at school, I lied to her teachers for her, she knows I know she did something bad but lied for her anyway though I have never mentioned it to her. I hoped this would encourage her to be more thoughtful in her rebellion, which it did.

When she had her heart broken for the first time, I was there, handing out the sage advice and comfort, hoping she would see that this was not in fact the end of the world and that boys will come and go, as is their want but that I would be there for her to shoulder her pain through them all, which she does.

The problem is, she is now a younger, thinner, prettier, more intelligent and successful version of me.... and I am left feeling like the example of 'how to fuck up your life and not realise your potential in 5 easy steps'

Also, I will be spending my evening laughing at my 30 something men friends all trying desperately to get in her pants but still being shit scared that I will tear off their balls if they succeed!!!!

Of course what they don't realise is that she really doesn't need me to look out for her anymore, she is perfectly capable of emasculating men all on her own!!!!

Oh let the giggling commence!!!!

Pixie out