Well this is because while I have plenty to write about and probably a whole bunch I should be writing about for the sake of my inner calm, I'm not entirely sure that voicing most of it in a public forum is entirely appropriate - a wise man said to me recently about the art of blogging that it is one thing to write knowing that anyone could read your ramblings, it is entirely another to write knowing that someone could be reading them...
I have spent many months now attempting to perform damage control and behave in a way that would prevent other people from getting hurt or being upset...nevertheless, despite my best efforts and driving myself a little mad with anxiety, people have been hurt and upset and generally my nearest and dearest have been having a tough time and I can't help but feel largely responsible for most of it - I suppose you can't change every aspect of your life in the space of 6 months and not expect it to have some impact on those around you.
So I have decided that I will just have to try and relax a bit and take the blows as they come - I've driven myself to distraction trying to avoid causing and receiving any more pain and I have failed - so perhaps I should just enjoy the good times, stop feeling guilty about everything all the time and stop worrying that it's all going to go horribly wrong at any moment. There is nothing I can do about any of it.
With this in mind - I will now be updating with wild abandon about the lovely things in my life... and when it all goes horribly wrong, I will just have to deal with it.
And finally...
If you've never experienced these guys... go do it now...
The Big Come Up is their debut album - they're on their 6th now... but because I'm a wanker, I like their early, more raw stuff better - think Hendrix meets south of the river grumbly blues and you're about there - I am slowly converting a legion of new fans for them
The lovely Mr Ben took me to see them at the Colston Hall this week, because he is lovely. The Colston Hall is a horrible place to see a gig. The band more than made up for it. They kick out one hell of a noise for a 2 piece.
Also, mongoose lemurs are awesome - FACT.
(We went to the zoo this week and saw these guys up close and personal - I haven't just taken a shine to pretend monkeys at random)
Pixie Out
1 comments:
The thing with trying not to cause pain to other people is that it is impossible. No matter what you do and how you handle a situation it is up to the other person how they respond, and you can never really judge if that will be a response of pain.
The best thing to do is take care of yourself and make sure you are happy, and just hope that everyone else is fine with that. After all you are not intentional trying to hurt people, so you can't really control whether they are hurt unintentionally.
I ramble.
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