Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

Muse were incredible...

The whole weekend was awesome...

I am a broken shell of a woman...

'nuff said

Pixie Out

I'll Be There As Soon As I Can

I R going to see Muse tomorrow... woop hoot and yey!!!

Apparently being best friends with people who went to school with famous musicians is a good thing :)

So not only am I going to spend the weekend in my spiritual retreat surrounded by my wonderful second family... I'm also getting to see one of my favourite bands play in the bargain... and I'm taking the Frenchy!

The Curly One was meant to be coming... but he has broken his spine in 27 places and is currently in traction being bed bathed by 1960's Barbara Windsor-esque nurses... or he might just be having a bad case of sciatica and lying on the sofa dosed up on pain killers.... but the first option sounds more fun, so let's go with that!

The aforementioned bodily harm was apparently caused by an early morning tidying spree last weekend a la chez Ginge ...after a most excellent barbeque / challenge to see how much beer 9 people can actually get through in an eveing (which apparently is quite a lot)/ celebration of the return of the Pat

Good times were had by all... beer was drunk (by the metric fuck ton)... eternal love was declared (as only the truly drunken are wont to do)... cigarettes were smoked... meat was eaten... salad was largely avoided (until the morning when a chicken salad with coleslaw and melon on the side seemed like the perfect breakfast...they weren't laughing about the pre-cooked chicken we brought to a barbeque by then, I can tell you!)and then teh Patzor drove The Curly One and I home and hung out (I slept) until the evening when he ran 4th ed D&D for the nerd squad, which was so unbearably awesome and win that I can't even describe it... we even intro gamed a new player ...and I think there is a chance we might have converted him with our second hand geek smoke (it's dangerous for your health I hear... the government are moving to ban indoor geekery as those who do not geek feel they should not be exposed to the geekery of others...GW are in uproar saying it will destroy their business)

Saturday, Cathryn and I drove up to Burton on Trent (don't go...it's where they make Bass beer and Marmite... the whole town smells funny... plus it's north of the Watford gap and therefore grim)... We went to pick up a 19th century antique oak chest come bench thing (imagine a gothicy church pew but prettier) which has been sitting in my Grandma's hallway for as long as I can remember... she inherited it from her mother in law who inherited from her mother.. or something.. I don't know... any way... I have coveted this thing since I was a child and spent every summer there... and now it is mine.... or at least it is in Cathryn's dining room, filled with beautifully ornate plates from China, that I also now own... it took us 5 hours to get there... because Cathryn can't follow directions and the phrase "stay on the M42 Cathryn... no seriously... the M42 ... no... no... no .... not the M40...gaaaaaaaaah!!!" only passed my lips once... but that was enough to set us back a couple of hours... nonetheless... my Grandma was lovely and made us dinner and gave me wonderful covetous things and sent us on our way again...Cathryn and I made it back to Bath, in a 4x4 borrowed from one of the boys in the seventh level of Hades... and we are still friends... of course all I have to show for sitting in a car for hours and hours is Great Aunt Flo's blanket from Norway... but hey...

Sometimes I think 2 white women driving through the rougher bits of Bristol at 9.30 on a Saturday night in a Chelsea tractor, with an antique oak chest in the back, smoking out of the windows and listening loudly and shamelessly to Michael Jackson, might be a slightly odd thing to do.... then I remember that Cathryn and I have done much stranger things... like driving round the back of Jamaica street with a boot full of sex toys and stopping to ask for directions...

I am also currently in the midst of attempting to integrate Taoism into my Wiccan belief structure... it seems to be opening up some very interesting spiritual pathways for me... and my soul is growing as a result... i've been having some very trippy meditations recently... dare I say, I am feeling more... powerful... of course that could just be the can of Redbull I just drank... but seriously... amazing meditations over the last few days... I'm very excited to see where this path will take me... I'm literally buzzing (again, may be the Redbull... finding it tough to focus on the screen now...)

Have a good weekend kiddies

Pixie Out

You can tell by the lines in my smile that I have been around for a while

I can haz ego stroke plix, yes kk?!?!?

I have my gorgeous baby cousin coming to stay tonight....

I love her to bits, she is fun, she is clever, she is very sweet and she looks up to me (she is also therefore obviously, horribly flawed)

I have watched her grow up over the last few years, mature from a child in to an interesting young woman and throughout this period, my influence has been a discerning factor in her life. When I first noticed she had a liking for the slightly alternative music scene, I made her a CD of some of my favourite tracks when I was growing up, hoping to nurture and encourage this love, which it did.

When she got in trouble at school, I lied to her teachers for her, she knows I know she did something bad but lied for her anyway though I have never mentioned it to her. I hoped this would encourage her to be more thoughtful in her rebellion, which it did.

When she had her heart broken for the first time, I was there, handing out the sage advice and comfort, hoping she would see that this was not in fact the end of the world and that boys will come and go, as is their want but that I would be there for her to shoulder her pain through them all, which she does.

The problem is, she is now a younger, thinner, prettier, more intelligent and successful version of me.... and I am left feeling like the example of 'how to fuck up your life and not realise your potential in 5 easy steps'

Also, I will be spending my evening laughing at my 30 something men friends all trying desperately to get in her pants but still being shit scared that I will tear off their balls if they succeed!!!!

Of course what they don't realise is that she really doesn't need me to look out for her anymore, she is perfectly capable of emasculating men all on her own!!!!

Oh let the giggling commence!!!!

Pixie out

You Probably Think This Song is About You

I have had one of my pieces of big gay poetry recognised by my big gay pretentious poetical peers... yey me ... woop... hoot and indeed hoorah!!

I was featured as the pick of the day on Monday for the literature community of Deviant Art... my wanky offering may be found here

It's not my favourite piece... but it's one of them... and the crazies on dA seem to like it... so yey!

Also... just in case you had forgotten...

I love you

Yes

You

I love you

You are beautiful and wonderful and a joy to be with... I am blessed to know you
...and in case you were wondering who this is directed at... it's directed at YOU... silly!

Tell me Lies, tell me sweet little lies

Words to live by ... oh yeah

When We Dance It's A Tragic Delight

My back is starting to get a little better... for those of you who don't know what happened but have had the pleasure of being exposed to the slope of danger and treachery outside my house, I shall explain....

Bob got drunk and in process of worrying about him falling down the slope and breaking his face again (and more importantly his glasses, which I can't afford to replace) irony struck a cruel blow and landed me on my coccyx.... ?!"?$?"££$^%$^&£$I*!"$£*$&£*(*%$*_"£!*$$^.... that is the string of profanity that escaped very loudly from my mouth along with some whimpering and the sound of trying very hard not to cry...

I forced myself in to work the next day... even though getting dressed in the morning actually made me cry it hurt so much and spent the whole day drugged up on mighty morphing pain killers fluctuating between trying not to cry in pain and being so spaced out that I was unable to function like a conscious human being.... my boss didn't notice any of this and continued to insist that I run about the place and pick things up off the floor.... even my wincing and gasps of pain were not enough for him to think that perhaps, just perhaps there might have been something wrong with one of his staff....

I put myself through this ordeal because the snide comments I would have received from him and knowing he would have taken it out on Cathryn if I took time off, was worse than the pain itself....

This just added the icing to the enormous steaming shit cake that is my life...

Consequently I have realised that there is a fair chance that I am really quite depressed...and I can't afford a counsellor... oh dear...

On the plus side, Cathryn and I have come up with a fun game to play at work... which may only be possible if you listen to music at work via the internet... basically, it's like musical word association... in the morning somebody chooses a song and then the other person must pick one that follows on from it in some way... for example: Spin Doctors, Two Princes could be followed by Prince Charming by Adam Ant, which could be followed by Charming Man by The Smiths.... etc etc... it whiles away literally hours ...and helps to prevent either of us from throwing ourselves off the suspension bridge... so far anyway...

I will not go silently into the night... oh no... I will damn well whine about it all the way there... and you will bloody well listen to my self indulgent, increasingly emo ranting....

Hell I may even take up cranking... I hear it's what all the best emo kids are doing these days...

No picture for you today... The Pixie is waaaaaaaay too miserable for that... *grumble grumble moan moan blah blah blah grumble*

Woman oh woman don't treat me so mean...

I need help...

I need natural and non - 'go to the doctor's' advice... how the fuck do women deal with periods?

I have been on the pill for 14 years solidly, with no break so hadn't had a real period since the tender age of 14...and 12 months ago I decided to come off and see what was occurring in the wonderful world of my hormones...

I lost a stone in 6 months... (which I may now be putting back on due to excessive consumption of cream cakes)... and my periods are finally getting in to some kind of a cycle... but fuck me they hurt!!! How do you ladies manage it?... not only does it feel like my barren uterus is about to explode but I am overly emotional, weepy and angry... what do I do?!?!?!

I can't cope with this every month for the rest of my life (or at least until I'm stupid enough to think that any child Bob and I made would be wonderful and cute and not at all a hideous mutant freak baby)...

Please ladies...and men who know ladies... help me out here... I'm new at this game and I don't know the rules... and the referee seems like a total shit heel...gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!